Fair Play cards are the household task cards from Eve Rodsky's Fair Play method. A couple sorts through them, keeps the ones that apply, and takes turns deciding who will own each one completely. Tiptoe is not affiliated with or endorsed by Fair Play, and the original method is the place to go for its full instructions.
Where it comes from
Rodsky, who holds a J.D. from Harvard Law School, published Fair Play in October 2019. It became a Reese's Book Club pick. The publisher describes "4 easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks" and a set of conversation starters. Her own site calls it "a figurative card game you play with your partner" for deciding who takes the lead on each chore.
According to Ms. magazine, the system began with a list of tasks Rodsky and other mothers were handling. It reports two of the rules: all time is equal, and you have the right to reclaim being interesting. It also describes the central idea, that one person will "conceptualize, plan and execute" a card, often shortened to CPE.
The Fair Play Deck, published in October 2020, makes the game physical. The publisher says two partners sit down for about an hour when both are relaxed, lay out the task cards, keep only the ones that apply and take turns choosing. Each partner also claims Unicorn Space cards, which set aside time for personal pursuits like learning a language.
What holding a card means
The point isn't the cards themselves. It's that a card is a whole job. Some examples of what that means in a real home (these are our own illustrations, not cards quoted from the deck):
- Dinner on weeknights. Holding it means deciding what to eat, knowing what's in the fridge, shopping and cooking, without being reminded.
- Birthday gifts for family. Holding it means remembering the date, picking something, ordering in time and getting it signed.
- School forms. Holding it means reading the email, signing, returning it and following up on the fee.
- The car. Holding it means knowing the inspection date, booking it, taking it in and filing the paperwork.
- Bedtime. Holding it means the routine itself, plus noticing that pajamas no longer fit.
If someone else has to say "Did you do it?", the card hasn't really moved.
What it is not
- It is not automatically an agreement. A card names a job. It doesn't settle who should do it in your home. That's what the conversation is for.
- It is not 50/50. The publisher's description has partners choosing which tasks fit, and the first rule Ms. reports is about time being equal, not task counts.
- It is not a chore chart. A chore chart usually assigns the doing. A card includes the thinking.
- It is not required. You can get the same benefit without buying a deck. Index cards and an hour will do.
- It is not a Tiptoe feature. Chores in Tiptoe are a separate thing, and they aren't connected to the method.
How to try the idea this week
If you want the full method, buy the book or the deck, because the details belong to Rodsky. If you just want to test the underlying idea, here is a free version.
Step 1. Each of you writes ten jobs on index cards, one per card, using whole-job names like "dentist" or "weeknight dinner". Skip anything that isn't a real job in your home.
Step 2. On the back, write what notice, plan, do and follow up mean for that job. This is Tiptoe's four jobs model. It's our framing, not part of Fair Play.
Step 3. Take turns choosing, starting with whoever has held more of them so far. Try starting with:
"I'd like to try this as an experiment, not a verdict on how we've been doing it. Can we take an hour on Sunday with no phones and pick five cards each?"
Step 4. Agree what done means for each one.
Step 5. Revisit in two weeks and swap any that aren't working.
Our free chore split worksheet follows a similar shape, and the complete chore split guide goes further. If you'd rather not keep paper around, chores in Tiptoe each have one owner and a schedule, and that's the end of the resemblance.
Fair Play cards vs a chore list
A chore list answers "what needs doing?". A Fair Play card also answers "who is responsible for this happening at all?". The difference shows up on a bad week. With a chore list, the job slips and someone has to notice it slipped. With a whole-job owner, noticing is already part of what they agreed to. That's the same distinction as ownership vs helping, and it's why Rodsky's approach has more in common with mental load research than with chore charts, even though it started from a list.
Questions about fair play cards
How many Fair Play cards are there?
The publisher describes the Fair Play system as having 100 household tasks. The deck's own listing doesn't state a card count that we could verify, so check the deck itself if the exact number matters to you.
Do you need to buy the deck to use Fair Play?
The book describes the system without needing a physical deck, since its own site calls it a figurative card game. The deck is a physical version of it. You can also test the idea of whole-job ownership with index cards.
What if my husband or wife won't play Fair Play?
Start smaller. Ask for one job, handed over whole, and treat it as an experiment. Many people resist a system more than they resist one clear request. If one handoff works, you have something to build on.
